Just Shut up, will you?

So, you think you’ve had a bad date? Well, I assure you it could be worse...much worse.

Not dating for some time makes everyone of us consider dating outside the box. But  when does “considering other options”  turn into lowering standards? And then... how low is too low?

 Honesty is the key to every relationship - as our mothers say. I can already imagine many of you will roll eyes and disagree - if you happen to be doing so right now, it means you are just bitter, disappointed and probably haven’t had sex for a while. Well, welcome to the club. Just try not to slit your wrists before you finish reading this, as that would be terribly impolite towards the author.

When I date, I like to have a bit of time to believe that this time might be different. I truly appreciate this, so please allow to me believe we are normal and it’s the other people who are crazy. Allow me to believe you are normal. It is called - earning somebodys trust, getting to know each other - that is until that ‘kinky sex’ date at least.

There’s nothing more sexy than a good boy that can go bad...and yes it is true - women looooove bad boys...in the bedroom. I expect to be respected, treated as the lady that I am - and that includes; opening doors, lifting heavy objects, and being wined and dined.  When entering the bedroom, I expect to leave all the morality, proper behavior and delicacy on the other side of the door. Most women do.
...and here must be a “but”, so here it goes  - but women will do all that in a right time! 



In the beginning, sex should be nice, yes nice. Because from nice it can only get better, hotter, harder,kinkier. The first time we have sex, show me you like me - you enjoy my brain and my body and you want to explore it and learn it - you want to please me and thinking of doing so makes you drop beer, buds and video games to run to me ( fyi: if a guy will a drop video game or beer with his buds to spend time with me i will immediately agree to marry him - ladies, it doesn’t get more romantic that this) - It’s really all about trust!

So now you are nodding your head thinking how good this sounds and how awful your last few dates were. You think they were bad? Well let me then amuse you with a few situations that my friends and I have faced and lived through. 

“First sex with the guy - when he came he screamed his sister’s name.
I trully appreciate being family oriented, but this one took it one step too far.”


“I started to make out with the guy, we were both quite tipsy, suddenly he slapped me in the face saying, “you like that bitch, don’t you?!”"


“On a second date, we went for a dinner to a great french restaurant and over salmon souffle my date asked me if I keep a vibrator next to my bed.”
Vibrator talk might be a great turn on for all gadget fans, but please do not ask me if I have one or if my hand is enough - what size I like, or what shape, where I keep it or what it looks like. I may be old fashioned, but I would like to think you are going to imagine me playing with your joystick, and not the one that runs on batteries.




“We end up at my place, making out, grinding - when suddenly, he asked if I wouldn’t mind changing into a Red Riding Hood costume and he will dress up as a doctor. He also added I shouldn`t worry, because he brought everything with him to not trouble me.”


“We were on a first date - took some beers and sat on a beach. I was on my second sip when he pulled out his penis and wanted to make me jerk him off.”


“If you ‘re gonna’ tease me like that, I’ll give you what you deserve.” - said with crazy eyes. Congratulations - you are officially a date rapist!


“Could you fix my trousers?”
I have one thing to say - You are a grown man and I`m not your mother! Actually this question should never, ever be asked. Got it?